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Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy!

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Tuesday, January 5

Putting the Pieces Back Together

Tonight I had dinner with some friends. It was a much needed night out. It gave a few ladies whom at one point in the past year can say that they were/are Broken. I for one, can say that when I woke up this morning, I was Broken. So Broken from family. So Broken from friends. So Broken by lies. So Broken from life. I was and still am Broken.

I contemplated deleting my blog and my facebook. I contemplated cutting off any ties to those that felt and still feel that it is ok to hurt me. Those that feed off of negativity bc it makes them feel better. Those that make assumptions bc its easier than believing the truth. Those that feel that its ok to lie to you bc they feel its in your best interest.

I'm tired. I'm tired of repeating myself. I'm tired of trying to prove myself. I'm tired of listening to the crap. I'm tired of listening to the excuses. I'm tired of being the nice guy. I'm tired!

I went to dinner tonight believing that it would be good for me. Boy was I right. I needed this time to let my hair down and vent. So did the others. It was good for all of us.

I made the comment that today was the first day in two weeks that I had not cried. Well I broke that when I got in the car to drive home. I'm ok with that though....It was a good cry. You see, Fred had left a 31 Miles CD in the car and the song Hold On came on. Let me tell you, I hit the repeat button and listened to it the whole ride home.

I needed tonight. I needed this song.

I'm going to Hold On. I'm going to hold on for my husband. I'm going to hold on for my children. Most of all I'm going to hold on for myself.

I don't know what the future will bring, but right now I'm going to Hold On!!