Friday, February 26
So what does that mean for us? Well last night we spent our first of 3 nights here. Its nice, its right by our jobs and Fred gets a really great discount through his work (not that it matters b/c again, the insurance company is picking up the tab). The only problem is that the bed is not as comfortable as it looks. I did not sleep well at all last night. Granite, I had a lot on my mind, but a really comfy bed would have helped to ease the stress a bit.
What stress am I going through right now? Well lets see if I can get through this without melting down in the middle of my office on my lunch break. I had a doctors appt. yesterday for baby Emma. It was a scheduled ultrasound to check my amniotic fluid levels. Last week I had stated that my level was just above 8 and if it dropped below 7 it would cause an alarm. Well, I was a bit wrong. If your levels drop below 5, they will induce. They do this b/c normally when the levels are so low, the baby is in distress and they need to take them. Well yesterday was a day of panic, rushing around and lots of tears.....I mean so many tears I have busted blood vessels on the right side of my cheek. My levels have dropped to a 3.5. The only reason why I am at work typing this blog is b/c my little Emma is not showing signs of distress right now. She looks strong, so we are letting her cook as long as possible, even if its only a couple extra days. I have been advised to register with the hospital this weekend and I have another appt. first thing Monday morning. If my levels drop between 1-2, I have no choice but to be induced. As fast as my levels have been dropping, it looks like I will be having my Emma Monday or Tuesday. Please say a few prayers b/c I will only be 33 weeks and she is still only at approx. 3pnds.
I will keep you all posted when possible. In the meantime, I am hoping we can get our furniture put back in place on Sunday before all this takes place. I am so not prepared for an early arrival. My house truly is in shambles and I now have a ton of dusting/laundry to do courteous of the flooring company (again, not their fault, it comes with the job). I also have my mom picking up all my daughters baby clothes this weekend (which is in PA, I might add) so she can bring it down to me. Like I said, I really am not prepared for this. Thus all the emotions that are flying high right now.
Saturday, February 20
I Know...That you have lied to me as long as I have known you.
I Know...That I have let you hurt me without repercussions.
I Know...What you are about to ask of me.
I Know...That I have kept your secret as long as I have known you.
I Know...That I have tried with you, yet you still act like your better than me.
I Know...That I am not intimidated by you anymore.
I Know...That you are unhappy.
I Know...That you are really a liar.
I Know...That you think you are doing things in my best interest, but really its all about you.
I Know...That you lie to those that are closest to you.
I Know...You have never put your kids first, you only think you have.
I Know...That you truly believe what comes out of your mouth is the truth, but its not.
I Know...That you live in your own delusional world.
I Know...That this pertains to more than one person!!
Friday, February 19
I still feel the same as I did when I wrote my last blog. None of that has changed, nor do I think it will ever change. I honestly think its going to be up to me to make the changes. I'm not saying I haven't started, but I feel I have a long ways to go. I still have a lot of figuring out to do. I'm trying to surround myself with more positive things and/or people. I've been trying not to let any new "bad news" not bother me. I've been trying not to dwell on any negativity. I still listen to 33 Miles' song "Hold On" everyday, sometimes a few times a day. There's just a lot of things going on right now. I have a Dr.'s apt. and some tests next week, but I'm not ready to discuss any of that yet either until I find out all the details (and no, it has nothing to do with Baby Emma).
On a positive note, Baby Emma is doing great!! I am 31 weeks pregnant. I am going through the same issues that I went through with Alexi, but I have to admit, this time around I don't have any of the worries I did before. Emma is 3 pounds so far. She will most likely be preemie size when she is born, just like Alexi. We are thinking she will be just over 5 pounds. I still am getting sick on a daily basis and my appetite isn't always where it should be. I have yet to gain any weight, but my Dr. is not concerned anymore bc I have not lossed any weight either. My amniotic fluid is low, just like before. We are monitoring her on a weekly basis just like we did with Alexi. If the amniotic fluid drops to what the Dr's call a "7", they will have to take Emma early. As of last week I was just over "8". Again, I am not concerned b/c I went through this with Alexi and she was only a week early and came on her own. We are just taking precautions.
Moving on, our house.....oh-yes, our lovely house. It is in complete shambles right now. Yup, shambles!! Let's see, do you all remember when I posted up pictures of the flooding on our street during the Nor'easter we had in November? (Yes, these!) Well like I said before, we were fortunate to not have any flooding. WERE being the operative word! Well, we started seeing some buckling and discoloring on our hardwood floors (keep in mind, we have real hardwood that is glued to our concrete slab, not the pre-fab. laminate wood floors). Fred called our insurance company and yup, sure enough, our ground got so saturated from all the lovely rain and snow we received, that not only did our concrete slab absorb all the water, but so did our hardwood floors. Lovely, huh!?!?! NOT!! After a bunch of waiting and searching for a good flooring contractor, new flooring will be put down this week in our dining room and the rest of the house will be sanded and refinished. (Most of the damage was only in the dining room, thank God!) In the meantime, while waiting for all this to be done, we have had to move all the furniture out of every room that has hardwood (which is 5 rooms and one hallway). All this while trying to re-do Alexi and Emma's bedrooms. Unfortunately, we had to stop after their rooms were painted bc they have hardwood floors. I hate this....all I want to do is get their rooms done, but I am at a stand still. So for now, Alexi is sleeping on her big girl mattresses in our bedroom (which is carpeted, thank God again!) I am being told that the floors will be done by Friday, the latest Saturday, of this upcoming week. In the meantime, we are not allowed to be in the house for 3 days once they are complete (due to smells, dry time, etc.).
Oh-wait!!! I forgot to tell you the real kicker of this flooring story!! They found MOLD under the damaged flooring. Yup, I said it...MOLD!! That has been taken care of and we are recovering the best we can right now (Alexi and I ended up getting sick from it bc we all had no idea it was festering there.)
Anywho, hopefully we will be able to have our house back in order, ummmm, hopefully by the week of the March 3rd. As for our lives being in order, I'm just hoping for sooner rather than later.