Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy!

Oh...and thanks for stopping bye!!!

Thursday, October 27

Home Sweet Home.....or is it??

We're HOME!!  We made it back yesterday around 5ish.  We did pretty well on time.  The girls slept for half the trip which I'm still not sure if it was a blessing or a bad thing. 

We ended up only having to stop once and it was when they first woke up.  When we officially we left but forgot somethings and had to go back got on the road it was 10:45.  The girls were asleep by 11:30 and we were on our merry way.  I was free to have a quiet ride....right?!?  Wrong!!  It was quiet in the car....but in my head? Not.so.much.  It gave me a lot of time to think.  Think about all the things that are going on in my life right now.  I laughed, I cried and I reminisce.  I was taken back to one of the greatest days of my life..my wedding.  When the radio station played our wedding song I was taken back to when things were so much simpler.  When although I was under wedding stress, I wasn't under life stress. Having that time in the car was very challenging for me.  I went through every emotion possible.  I had moments when I thought I was ready to forgive and I had moments when I wanted to pick up the phone and call some people out.  What finally turned things around for me was when I looked in the mirror and saw my two angels sleeping.  They had not a care in the world.  They were sound asleep and peaceful.  At that moment I realized that I want to be that peaceful.  I NEED to be that peaceful.  My sanity can't take it anymore.  Theres just one problem, I struggle with giving all my problems to GOD and accepting that peace.  I am a Christian.  I raise my children as Christians, but deep down, I struggle with giving ALL of me to Him. Just as I was saying a prayer for myself, A woke up and said she had to go potty.  As soon as I pulled into Wawa E was awake and any thoughts that were going through my head were gone.  It was potty time, lunch time and time to figure out how I was going to keep an almost 5 yr old and a 19 mth old happy in the car for the next 3 hours.  Needless to say, we made it.

So today comes along.  The hubs is at work.  A is back to school.  And E, well she's in her crib fighting her naptime.  I am yet again left here to think.  Think about how upset, hurt and angry I am about a multitude of things.  I'm bitter.I'm sad.I'm frustrated.I'm questioning. I talked to my aunt today and although she is fabulous and knows all the right things to say, I can't help but cry when she tells me how strong she thinks I am.  I don't feel strong.  I feel weak.  I feel beaten down.  I feel tired. 

I'm sorry that this isn't an uplifting and cheerful post.  Its honest.  Its real.  Its who I am.

Tuesday, October 18

Happy Tuesday!!

Happy Tuesday all!  I am excited bc today I get to go wedding dress shopping with my sis Liz.  I even think I woke up with a smile on my face from ear to ear :)

She is getting married on August 4th and she is sooooo happy.  Its been a rough ride for her the last 10 years and she deserves this new chapter in her life. 

Congratulations to Mike and Liz!! 

Monday, October 17

Ho Hum Ditty Dum

Like my title?  I just made it up.  Kinda like this post.  I have nothing in mind to right about right now, but I need to focus my mind on something other than my house right now, so I figured why not get on the computer and start typing and see what I come up with.  Seriously....I just sat down and started typing. 

I currently am on a hiatus from my house and my husband and my mind is all over the place.  The girls and I have been staying at my in-laws for a bit.  Our money pit house....UGh.....is yet under more construction.  The contractors (whom as of tomorrow, will be considered the old contractors bc a new one will be starting) kept promising me that my new floors were going to be done 2 weeks ago.....welll, as of today they have not even been started!!  I'm going out of my mind!!!!!

Maybe I will start off by bringing you all up to speed.  In August, Hurricane Irene flooded my home 2 1/2 inches.  Yup, 2 1/2 inches.  My house has been torn apart once again.  Go figure the only areas that were fine were the ones that got flooded the last time and repairs were made. Walls and insulation have been cut out, my hardwood floors have been ripped out and my house is covered in dust and anything else the sanders can blow around.  The girls got really sick.  I mean REALLY sick.  I took them to the doctors and 2 sets of antibiotics and inhalers later we were told to get out of the house asap.  Thus, our trip to PA.  A is much better, but E is not.  I think I need to get her back to the doctors.  I HATE this!! I Hate when she is sick!!!  Anyway, now you all know why I am not home with the girls.

At first A was so happy to be here but now she is def. home sick. She misses daddy and her school.  I've had to temporarily pull her out of pre-school while this goes on.  I am NOT happy about this.at.all!!

Oh-well, I didn't intend on making this a post about my house. Its just hard not to talk about it considering it basically is controlling everything in my life.  I hate not being in control.  I hate that I can't AHHHHHHHHHH!!!  I need to move on from this conversation.

I will say that I am happy to be blogging bc it is a form of venting for me.  I enjoy it.  Its one thing I DO have control of in my life right now.

Well I will have to talk more later.  E is about to wake up from her nap and I need to catch up on my cleaning before she does. 

Until next time......

Tuesday, October 11

Yes....I Exploit!!!

And so the exploiting of my little girls begins!!!  I <3 them sooo much!!

Can't ya tell???

I'm Back!!

I'm not new to blogging by no means.  Until today, my blog has been private for the last year due to my career. I'm pretty open in my blog. Wellll, open is not the word I'm really looking for.

Let's try this again. I love to blog. It didn't bother me to show off my family or talk about my personal life. I loved sharing my life and my experiences with everyone. Well until some of my readers decided they would use it more to "spy" on me for their gossiping pleasures rather than just enjoying it for what it was. At first I didn't let it bother me...dare I say at first?!?! After a while I just started to get tired of hearing the he said/she said crap (I'll get to the details on that later). What drew the line was my career.  I was a General Manager for a pretty well known business and now-a-days everyone researches one another. I didn't like to have to edit myself here for anyone!!.....anyone unless they have to do with my work. That was my income were talking about and at the time, that was the only income coming into my house (I'll get to that later too).  Anywho, since I had made my blog private, I kinda got out of blogging for awhile (more like a year). :(

Sooooo, why is my public again?  Well, I'm sure I will get to that when I am ready, but for now I am going to get back to what I used to enjoy doing.....exploiting the crap out of my little princesses and putting my foot in my mouth via the Internet.